She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
