Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
