also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
