Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
