your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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