I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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