I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
