hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Randomize
