We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
