he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Randomize
