this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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