So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
