are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Come back. Shots need mouths.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
