I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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