hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
