I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Farmville is her only friend.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
