I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
