Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize