I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
