and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
