oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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