See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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