She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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