He had one of those small greek statue penises
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I'm really busy with my period
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