I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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