i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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