So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
