ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
