Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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