So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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