that's an acceptable place to lick
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
