my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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