Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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