Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
