So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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