Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
