yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
