I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
