you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
