I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
