But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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