fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
