i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize