there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
