Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
