Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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