I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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