I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize