i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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