piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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