I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
