fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
