When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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