haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
