I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
