Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
