So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
