Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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