OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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