there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
