Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
