the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
