No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
