i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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