no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
