HIV tests are more positive than that guy
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just want to make out with him forever
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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