my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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