You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
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