so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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