I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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