Where is the hickey?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
wow bdsm is so cute
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
