Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
