dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
