i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
