I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
