Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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