what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
