It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
